I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
