she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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