it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
