The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
