im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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