forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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