listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
