Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
smell my finger.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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