dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
