My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
