he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
