what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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