Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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