he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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