I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
