They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
