Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
