i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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