If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
