lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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