you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We left the knife in your bed.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
