ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
