I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize