so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize