Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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