u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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