omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
