at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
