we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
