she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
