goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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