We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
