I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
