im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
