Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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