I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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