Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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