I'm going to jail i love you
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
