you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
