She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
