Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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