She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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