I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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