dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
