my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
