she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
