She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
