i permit you to call me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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