Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
