My nipple is on Facebook.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
